


Losing It

by Cumberknit



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-03
Updated: 2012-07-03
Packaged: 2017-11-09 02:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cumberknit/pseuds/Cumberknit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This vignette is in response to a complaint on Twitter that most accounts of a woman losing her virginity were unbelievable. She was looking for one that would "ring true." </p><p>This story is not part of any fandom - just original characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing It

I knew he was a dog. After all, hadn’t he cheated on his girlfriend, fooling around with me last summer? I sat in a nice restaurant, pretending to be adult, chatting with Sue, while my mother and her friend sat at another table across the room. Sue was telling me how Chris, whom I hadn’t seen since September, when he left for college, had made himself a reputation as a ladies’ man. _If he were a woman, we’d be calling him a slut._

“He’s coming home for a few weeks,” Sue told me. “He asked me about you. Whether you have a boyfriend.”

I looked sharply at her. “Why would he care?” I had just broken up with my boyfriend of the past ten months, giving him the ‘I’m off to college and it wouldn’t be fair to try to keep things up long distance’ speech. Years later, I would look back and regret being so cruel, but chalk it up to the ignorance of being a teenager.

“I don’t know. He just asked. I told him you didn’t. He just nodded.” She shrugged. “He hasn’t called you, I guess?”

“No, first I’ve thought about him in ages, actually.” A seed of an idea began to grow in my mind. I had turned eighteen just before graduation. I’d be off to college myself in the fall. Up until now, through a combination of choice and lack of privacy, I had remained a virgin. I’d done a lot of things that counted as ‘sex,’ but not the one thing that counted in my mind as ‘losing my virginity.’ I wanted to be able to go to college, and, if asked, truthfully say that I wasn’t a virgin. Even if technically, I had only had sex once.

A few days later, I called Chris. After a little catching up, he asked whether I wanted to come over and hang out sometime. We arranged for me to come over that Saturday afternoon. Thankfully, telling my parents that I was going to Chris’s house didn’t seem to raise any red flags, especially after I told them his father would be home.

After saying hello to his dad, who was watching a football game, we head straight up to Chris’s room. We talked about college and mutual friends, but eventually wound up making out, sitting on the floor against the bed. As things got more heated and less clothed, I brought up my proposal: I wanted him to do me a favor. I wanted him to rid me of my pesky virginity.

“What are your motives?” I couldn’t believe he asked me that. Who says that? And what nineteen-year-old boy looks a gift fuck in the mouth? Maybe he was afraid I’d get emotionally attached, and keep calling him afterward.

“I just don’t want to go to college a virgin,” I told him.

“We’ll need a condom,” he answered. _He doesn’t have one? Good thing I was a Girl Scout._ I fished the single condom I had brought out of my shorts pocket.

He leaned forward and took the packet out of my hand. His mouth was by my ear. “You’re going to have to be very quiet. It’s going to hurt.” Then he kissed me again, and eventually we wound up lying on the carpet, me naked, and him still in his white t-shirt. He was periodically wiping the sweat off his forehead on to the t-shirt, so I didn’t object. Better that than him dripping sweat on me.

Once the condom was on, he positioned himself between my legs. “Okay, now, try to relax,” he said, and started to push into me. I took deep breaths and clung to his arms, because it really did hurt. Then, suddenly, all at once, it didn’t. It felt strange, different than anything else I’d ever felt, and kind of good. It wasn’t going to make me come, but it felt good. I started to move under him, and he smiled. “You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” His thrusts grew a little faster, and his breathing deeper. I could tell he was holding back, afraid to hurt me. “It’s okay,” I said. “Keep going.”

A few thrusts later, he came, keeping silent. He pulled out, carefully holding the condom, and threw it away. We both hurriedly dressed. I noticed that luckily, there was no blood on the carpet.

I felt suddenly awkward. What was there to talk about now? I didn’t really like him all that much. We didn’t have a lot in common, just a summer program a years ago, and some stolen kisses. “So, um, thanks.” I didn’t even come. Oh well.

“Yeah, sure.” He was obviously at a loss for words too. I didn’t think Miss Manners covered this situation. You have just had sex with an acquaintance for dubious reasons. It’s time to leave. What do you say, dear?

“So, uh, have a good year at school,” I picked up my keys. “Should I say goodbye to your dad?”

“Nah, he won’t notice. Not with the game on.” He came over to me, touched my face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. Thanks.” I smiled. He kissed me, gently, on the lips.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

\-------------

I looked in the mirror, as if I expected a change. Of course, there wasn’t any. I had wondered at the lack of bleeding, but then again, I had torn my hymen with a plastic tampon applicator when I was sixteen. I had bled then; maybe that was the end of it. Oddly enough, there was blood in my underwear in the morning, but not anything that would arouse suspicion when my mom did the wash. I could claim to have gotten my period unexpectedly.

I went to work, still mulling over the whole thing in my mind. Was I the only straight girl in the world who didn’t want to lose her virginity to a man she loved? Did I have no sense of romance? I had to talk to somebody, though obviously my mother was out.

Marissa was one of my supervisors, and she was a mother figure to us all. I cornered her during break. “I lost my virginity yesterday,” I blurted out.

He gave me a hug. “Oh, honey, did it hurt?”

“Yeah, and then it didn’t.”

“Did you bleed?”

“Not at the time, but this morning I did.”

She looked me in the eyes. “The first few times it’ll hurt, but then it’ll feel like the best thing in the world, and you’ll want to do it all the time. Be careful.”

I nodded.

“It wasn’t anybody here, was it?” She looked around suspiciously, knowing that I had a crush on a much-older coworker.

“No, no one you know.” The last thing I needed was for Marissa to give Aaron flack for something he didn’t do, and I didn’t want him to know about. Aaron thought of me as a little sister, unfortunately, and he was hung up on his ex-girlfriend, besides. “Not Aaron,” I added, for good measure.

She laughed. “Okay, I believe you. I’m glad you felt you could talk to me.”

“Thanks,” I answered. “I am too”

____________

Years have passed, and I have never regretted having my so-called virginity calculatedly removed. I still talk to Sue, every so often. I heard that Chris got married and had kids, just like I did. I looked at his Facebook page the other day; he’s heavier and balder, just like every other guy I knew in high school. I don’t know whether he remembers that day, and that’s just fine with me.


End file.
